Franchise or the Star
We've all heard the news--Tom Cruise has been kicked out of Hollywood for being weird. Paramount's going with Brad Pitt--big surprise--to head up the Mission: Impossible franchise. An insider (shiftless office temp?) told London Lite newspaper: "MI:IV will not include Cruise's character, agent Ethan Hunt. They're considering a brief mention, saying Hunt retired to live a safe life with his new wife. They're set on Brad taking over as a gutsy new head operative who puts together his own unique team of specialists."
This party line that Hunt has "retired to live a safe life with his new wife." is a thinly veiled shot at Cruise's personal life if you ask me. Cruise didn't retire! Due to a string of bizzare public outbursts that initiated with his marriage to child bride, Katie Holmes, he was shitcanned. To say he "retired to live a safe life" implies that marriage has heped to normalize Cruise when, in fact, it has done the opposite.
In answer to this flagrant inversion of the truth I think that Tom's independent production company should set to work adapting to film the late 1980's Nintendo game classic Impossible Mission starring Tom Cruise in the role of this dude:
Tom is far from retiring or settling into the straight life (no pun intended). He's got a shitload of money and a brand new will to be wierd that promises to yield some awesomely deranged masterpieces. (I'm praying for a no-holds-barred throw down Scientology epic that makes Passion of the Christ look like Forest Gump.) It's Paramount Studios that's playing it safe: "They're set on Brad taking over as a gutsy new head operative who puts together his own unique team of specialists." They're turning Mission: Impossible into a buddy flick so that no one knuckle head actor can take down the franchise with naughty behavior.
This better not be a trend. I don't think I could handle Indiana Jones with "a unique team of specialists".
This party line that Hunt has "retired to live a safe life with his new wife." is a thinly veiled shot at Cruise's personal life if you ask me. Cruise didn't retire! Due to a string of bizzare public outbursts that initiated with his marriage to child bride, Katie Holmes, he was shitcanned. To say he "retired to live a safe life" implies that marriage has heped to normalize Cruise when, in fact, it has done the opposite.
In answer to this flagrant inversion of the truth I think that Tom's independent production company should set to work adapting to film the late 1980's Nintendo game classic Impossible Mission starring Tom Cruise in the role of this dude:
Tom is far from retiring or settling into the straight life (no pun intended). He's got a shitload of money and a brand new will to be wierd that promises to yield some awesomely deranged masterpieces. (I'm praying for a no-holds-barred throw down Scientology epic that makes Passion of the Christ look like Forest Gump.) It's Paramount Studios that's playing it safe: "They're set on Brad taking over as a gutsy new head operative who puts together his own unique team of specialists." They're turning Mission: Impossible into a buddy flick so that no one knuckle head actor can take down the franchise with naughty behavior.
This better not be a trend. I don't think I could handle Indiana Jones with "a unique team of specialists".
posted by Peter at 10:54 AM
4 Comments:
I'm rather enjoying Tom Cruise's career implosion. But (although I've never seen any of the M:I movies) I can't imagine anyone else taking over the franchise.
Brad Pitt on MI? Well, I guess any guy who manages to pseudo-marry the cartoonishly beautiful femmebot Angelina Jolie has some indie creds for achieving impossible missions.
Lisa
Beth- Yeah, next to Mel Gibson Tom Cruise's nuttiness is endearing.
Lisa-Jolie IS a Femmebot, isn't she. They were bound to get together--like a Quarterback and Homecomming Queen.
Tom's entertaining no doubt but can't anyone front an explosion or a bunch of stunts? I'm not available but surely someone? I turned down 007 too by the way.
Peter, welcome back! Glad to see your secret MI style return.
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